SERMON: Patriarchy R.I.P.
Spoken Live on May 29, 2022
at Kaleo Phoenix in downtown Phoenix, AZ
How is everyone doing? It has been a hard week:
I recall last Sunday laying down on my couch listening in to the time of worship and Chris sharing last week over zoom when I read on my phone the news of how the SBC, the Southern Baptist Convention had hidden sexual abuse allegations since the 2000. I remember being nauseous and feeling sick.
Then I witness the capitalization and gentrification of Juneteenth through ice cream sold at Walmart and I have a headache.
Pastor John Lowe publicly confessed to adultery then an audience member reveals he groomed her as a teenager makes me feel nauseous again and uneasy.
Killings in Texas school send chills down my spine and make my body feel heavy
The 2nd year anniversary of George Floyd’s death brings pain to my neck and a heaviness in my shoulders
All of these events attempt to make us less human and disconnected with one another.
It is important to notice our emotions when we come into a space. Our emotions remind us we are humans with feelings. I know for me it is sometimes hard to find the right emotion. This mood meter is helpful for me at times.
Something happens to us when we hear about the violent acts that happen in our society. We experience a type of collective trauma. And in dealing with trauma it is important to pay attention to your body. I want everyone to plant your feet down on the floor, relax your body, breathe in, and breathe out. What do you feel? What are you thinking about? What sensations are happening in your body? How present do you feel in this moment? Accept them as normal as you remind yourself that you are human.
Where I am at on this chart is green too because of how grateful I am standing here with you all today after my surgery. After not being able to move like I want and being dependent on someone to help me get up I am grateful for being able to move around like this.
I want to Thank you for your prayers and thoughts for me as I have been healing from my hernia surgery. It went well and recovery has been smooth for the most part so perhaps God has been hearing your prayers and your heart. Thank You.
I had great tension and pressure to feel the need to cover everything in my message and change it to hit on more of what is going on, but I want to be faithful to what I believe God put in me to share and allow God to speak to you during this time. So I ask that you participate with me through this sermon by being attentive to what God is bringing to your head and heart as I share.
Today’s passage is John 17:20-26. It’s a passage well known as a call to unity and oneness of believers so it should be a light and easy discussion today... Jesus just finished washing his disciples feet as Erin preached a couple weeks ago,.. then after that he gave his disciples one last lesson to hopefully form them to become a community of believers who reflect God’s kingdom on earth. Again this is all happening at the last supper. We always find Jesus at tables eating with folk as Chris mentioned last weekend. In this dinner He concludes his last time with his disciples with a prayer. Our passage today is his prayer before he begins his passion. Before he is betrayed, denied, crucified, and resurrected. There are three parts to his prayer and we are going to read the last section. In the first part of the prayer Jesus prays for himself as he receives his glory heading towards crucifixion and resurrection. The second part Jesus prays for his disciples that they would stand out in the world that is anti-God. This last section we are going to read today is Jesus’ prayer for believers everywhere. This is Jesus’ last words with his disciples. Which is fitting because it’s the last Easter Sunday so it’s Jesus’ last words to us in the church calendar season. Let’s read it:
20 “I am praying not only for these disciples but also for all who will ever believe in me through their message. 21 I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one—as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me.
22 “I have given them the glory you gave me, so they may be one as we are one. 23 I am in them and you are in me. May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me and that you love them as much as you love me. 24 Father, I want these whom you have given me to be with me where I am. Then they can see all the glory you gave me because you loved me even before the world began!
25 “O righteous Father, the world doesn’t know you, but I do; and these disciples know you sent me. 26 I have revealed you to them, and I will continue to do so. Then your love for me will be in them, and I will be in them.”
I want to focus today for a second on what may be IN us.
Let’s Pray (There is comfort that you would pray for us that we may know you and your love)
Disclaimer: I will not be focusing on the current division among believers; that's a different message. I do want to name that now is a time when many believers may feel like they are not on the same page. We have friends who we encourage to see that Jesus is and has always been good news to the poor and margins and that has been his central message. Some of us have family members who don’t see eye to eye on things but still claim to follow the same Jesus. Some of us have left churches that have held tight to idols that actually harm us. It feels like we are more divided than ever before. I want to name that reality for many today and hopefully the words that I share today can be applied to that division, but I want to focus on what I truly believe Jesus deems as divisive.
I will be talking about systems of power that lead to inequity and oppression that do not allow for unity. A distorted worldview and reading of scripture borne from racist and misogynist views can lead us to believe in A father who loves only some of his children. Children who embody whiteness and rugged masculinity. Making everyone else who does not fit that category only semi-human.
This is the divisive issue that we should be tackling as the Family of God. I believe that Jesus' prayer here is for beloved community. His prayer being the same dream that Martin Luther King Jr. had for unity despite differences. Jesus’ prayer for oneness is for a community of multiethnic peoples that is then proclaimed in Revelation 7:9 stating
9 After this I saw a vast crowd, too great to count, from every nation and tribe and people and language, standing in front of the throne and before the Lamb. They were clothed in white robes and held palm branches in their hands. 10 And they were shouting with a great roar,
“Salvation comes from our God who sits on the throne
and from the Lamb!”
This is an image of the kingdom of God given to us and what Jesus’ prayer is that we would display on earth.. What is defined as beauty here is the differences we have as brothers and sisters as we unite to Jesus being the vine and us the branches. Not a focus on sameness, but on differences.
I had a painting that displays this oneness yet difference of God’s kingdom that I thought about showing, but changed my mind because then I knew I would have to do more explaining. It’s an interesting picture.
The founder of Neighborhood Ministries where I work values artist and claims that artist are the prophets of today. They are people who can see what is really going on in the world and express it in their art. I often go to music myself to heal and contemplate on the world we live in.
Perhaps for us today we can learn something if we listen to our black and brown hip hop artist.
Anyone listen to the new Kendrick Lamar album? In his new album titled Mr. Morale and the Big Steppers Kendrick confronts mental and emotional health and the long and hard process of doing the inner work on yourself to be healthy for yourself and those around you
In his song titled Father Time Kendrick sorts out through the song how hard his father was on him growing up, and the lack of space he had to share his emotions with his father leading him to repress his emotions. He raps about how his daddy issues led to a foolish pride that became what he saw as masculinity. The song is like a confession he tells to his therapist. How lessons from his father communicated to him that he is not allowed to be tired, not allowed to feel pain and that your ego is what never allows you to reconcile with someone. He admits to negative and unhelpful beliefs he has picked up from his father, but also admits that this is a generational problem since his father grew up in an environment that led him to be that way. It’s almost like this way of being that his Father instilled is in him and has been in his family for a long time.
Is this the type of relationship we imagine Jesus to have with The Father? If Kendrick’s relationship with his father resonates with your view of God, then perhaps we have something in us that doesn’t reflect the Father Jesus is talking about here.
America and our churches too have something in us given by our fathers. Oppressed and harmed whites travel overseas seeking to unjustly colonize a new area through violence to achieve their dreams. The entitled belief by white Puritan men to physically bring God’s kingdom down to earth by any means necessary. The hypocrisy of our country’s founding fathers who had enslaved black Africans, my ancestors, and simultaneously professed Christ. The John Wayne men who have merged Christianity with a rugged masculinity that values God and guns.
“Our fathers” have given us this practice of patriarchy and racism that remains in our country and in a lot of our churches today. The violent and unjust acts we witness in our world today are symptoms of this illness that hides behind American exceptionalism. However, This history reveals, like Kendrick’s song, that this is a generational problem and that our past “fathers” were formed by environmental spaces that caused them to harm others.
Just like Memorial Day is a day we remember those who have died while serving in the military, I sometimes long for a day of lament, at least for our churches, when we remember the sins of our land and the harm that has been caused to marginalized people.
We would be unwise to think that we do not have any of these harmful practices in us still. Especially if we refuse to acknowledge them. It is often easier to recognize it in others but not ourselves.
So the question is when and how will we heal?
Community of believers in our country must do the inner work as a community to identify what is in them. Communities must identify the harmful practices in them and communities must learn how to heal from the harm done to them.
When we experience pain and trauma, and feel grief it lives in us. In our bodies. A good practice is mindfulness. Which is like becoming one with yourself and your body by recognizing what is going on in you emotionally and physically in your body. Along with this is examining what happens in the space between yourself and someone else. We are present in this space together. From the moment of birth we are dependent on others for our distress. What would it look like to depend on others who are different from us to assist with the healing.
The harmful beliefs we have are carried in us as well.
Many churches have taught under the patriarchal social context that militant and toxic masculinity morals are seen as positive and superior to any feminine traits. This is still true in many people’s practices. We deem traits such as being strong, powerful, controlling, a protector, competitive, aggressive and independent as superior to being dependent, emotional, vulnerable, nurturing, and encouraging.
In our social context this has caused us to leave out discussing God’s femininity found in Jesus. To get God in us as he/her is in Jesus we must be willing to put down our unhelpful masculine view of who God is and accept what we may see in our culture as femine traits. Traits such as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faith, goodness . Sound familiar?
Sadly, I too have picked up bad habits from our skewed patriarchal lens. What we believe about God is often what we attempt to become. I have grown to have Beliefs that you cannot show that you're tired, that emotions should not play a part in a decision. That you can’t show you are weak, tired and confused. I have tried to play both sides on issues in an attempt to show myself logical and fair.
It’s caused me to harm others and I apologize. I apologize to my wife if there was ever a space I brought you that made you feel unsafe. I apologize if I have not allowed you to dream and lead enough. I apologize if I have not advocated enough for you in spaces where your voice may be unheard. I apologize to women in the room who have felt less than and unheard in their experience with churches and those following Jesus. I apologize to men who have been attacked for embodying what is deemed as feminine characteristics.
I remember when leading youth at a camp I represented the men in the room to apologize to the females on how they have been treated and viewed by many men. The fact that I validated their hurt and feelings led them to tears.
I would like us to Take time acknowledging the harm you've caused others and your time to acknowledge the harm done to you …
Silence.
This is a reading from Frederick book titled Patriarchy Blues
To all of those in the process of evolving into someone freer.
For a long time I thought joy was something I didn’t deserve because my cup always seemed to runneth over with pain. So much so that it spilled out into a river of harm I have inflicted on others. But I met joy for the first time a few years ago as I stood on the edge of that river ready to jump in and be swept away. As I readied myself to jump, suddenly the sun’s warmth seemed to drape over and calm me, like a parent’s embrace and kiss on the forehead to calm a child. Then the wind whispered in my ears as it pushed me away from that river. You are more than the trauma you have endured and you can be more than the trauma you have caused. I began to cry as I had never cried before, and on that river, I was reborn with the understanding that healing and accountability give us the opportunity to no longer be bound to our past selves. I am not my past selves. That day, I believe I was given an assignment not to simply write a book but rather create a space. Somewhere we can leave the pieces of ourselves that don’t serve joy. Somewhere we can be accountable for who we have been within the oppressive systems that have gaslighted us into being less than who we truly are. Somewhere we can grow and help others feel safe. The words on these pages sing the song of goodbye to the men I have been and welcome with open arms the man I am becoming. But there is room here for you as well -- there is room for all of us. My love grows daily for the man I am trying to be, but the journey to become is difficult and I know it will take the rest of my life. As will the work of unpacking how patriarch, white supremacy, and capitalism have consorted to destroy all we hold dear. This book is not a map for the journey, but rather a perspective on which direction to go and someone to walk with along the way. I hope that my experiences, my pain, my growth serve as reminders that we are not bound to the gravity of pain. We are not bound to misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, or any manifestations of what has kept us from the ultimate joy of freedom. May in this space we find strength, understanding, prayers, and joy. May in this space we find the courage to heal and grow. May in this space we find the warmth of the sun and the honesty of the wind.
When we do the inner work we can face ourselves and others and God. Peter Scazerro states that awareness of yourself and your relationship with God are intricately related. Scazerro records a St. Augustine quote in his book Emotionally Healthy Spirituality stating, “How can you draw close to God when you are far from your own self?” He also prayed: “Grant, Lord, that I may know myself that I may know thee.” Being self-aware and understanding the pain and harm in us and what we’ve caused allows us to be more connected in God.
This is a way how we can get God in us as we distance ourselves from evil practices that are anti-God and anti-Jesus.
This is how we can come together to be the one, multiethnic family of God. We must recognize the pain and trauma in us and invite Jesus to come alongside us as we work on ourselves to become more of our true selves. When we do this we become more of a witness of what Jesus is praying for.
Our pastors are an example of this. A white male from Montanna and Black woman from Chicago coming together to despite their many differences to lead this oneness of church that Jesus prays for. What will be the story of Kaleo? How have we and how will we continue to engage in compassionate service in the community? How will we be a part of speaking truth to power in our community? We may not be able to change everything in the world, but how will we be a part of the reimagining of our world as a resurrected as an easter people displaying God’s good kingdom.
I believe it begins with my encouragement for us today. For us to become that community of believers that Jesus prays for we must strive to do the inner work as a community by addressing the pain and harm done to us and the pain and harm we may cause in order for us to heal so that we may come together as one. I’m speaking to the community of Kaleo. We must continue to get God in us and ask Jesus to help make us one. To have a type of closeness where we truly see the climax of our gathering not as the sermon but being able to eat together and sit across a table from one another. Turn to the person next to you. Look them in the eye. You see it’s the Spirit in this space that allows us to say I am here, and I see you and we are present in this moment together. We are in this together. You may return forward.
Who are those outside of this community you desire to be one with? How can you address the pain and harm done and potentially move forward a little bit more together?
This is not to say there are ideologies and people who embody those unjust practices we discussed today that hurt and harm. We need to distance ourselves from them. Healthy boundaries is a way of loving yourself and prioritizing your healing. The pain and trauma someone experiences does not give them the permission to disrespect and abuse you.
I hope we understand after today that history has an impact on the here and now. Each gospel writer tries showing that as well in their own way. They try using history to show how Jesus is worth believing in as being the good news the world has waited for. How far back in history does each one go? Mark goes back to the prophet Isaiah showing that Jesus is the fulfillment of a new exodus and new creation. Matthew goes back to Abraham showing how Jesus is carrying the promise to bless Israel and all the nations. Luke goes back to Adam showing that Jesus has significance and is hope for all of humankind. Our author today, John, shows that since the beginning of time Jesus was there with God and was loved by God meaning we were loved by God from the beginning of time to now. John reveals that there has been this through-line of love throughout the story of the world and Jesus being with us. Meaning through the harm that so called believers have done in the past Jesus still wants to be with the world and his church. He has been with those who suffer as well. Jesus’ prayer here is that we would center love. That we would affirm ourselves of being valued and loved. He wants us, believers, today to know that we have been loved since the beginning and that we would hold on tightly to that and onto him like we would a boat that goes through troubled waters.
Seeing God as gentle and comforting can be healing. We are loved my brothers and sisters. We are humans made in God’s image and we must heal from the hurt we’ve experienced so we no longer continue harming others and be more human together.
We must reclaim what can be called these feminine traits that Jesus asks us to be in scripture. To be like an outlet ready to receive. We learn to be receptive and practice emotionally healthy faith when we lean into the feminine. May we do that now as we receive the Father, Son, Holy Spirit, and love in us by acknowledging our emotions.
Do one last practice:
I will ask our worship team to come up as we do our last practice today.
I will read this passage one last time and give you time to notice what emotions come and how your body responds to the reading. We are quick to read scripture and rush to the meaning however I want us to slow down and reflect on how our body reacts to the reading. Close your eyes and get comfortable. Take a deep breath in and out. Breathing in God’s love He wants you to receive as you listen to Jesus’ prayer.
20 “I am praying not only for these disciples but also for all who will ever believe in me through their message. 21 I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one—as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me.
22 “I have given them the glory you gave me, so they may be one as we are one. 23 I am in them and you are in me. May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me and that you love them as much as you love me. 24 Father, I want these whom you have given me to be with me where I am. Then they can see all the glory you gave me because you loved me even before the world began!
25 “O righteous Father, the world doesn’t know you, but I do; and these disciples know you sent me. 26 I have revealed you to them, and I will continue to do so. Then your love for me will be in them, and I will be in them.”
Notice your emotions and how your body responds. You are human.
Let’s Pray.
